


Emo Band

by TheEmoBand



Category: emo band
Genre: Multi, actually dont the whole 'loser no friends' vibe is really strong dont @ me about it, and if you wanna ask me how i managed to write an entire story in my free time well do the math, anyway lets start this story why are you reading all these tags anyway, are you ready for this roller coaster through HELL, buckle your seatbelt bc we bout to speed through time, i put a comma and then the tag separated dangggggggg, lets get going youre life altering choice to read this is about to just that....alter yo life, oh and yeah i know the whole glasses thing is inaccurate but its a plot device jfc LET ME LIVE, ok fr lets go, this may be confusing if you like arent part of it idk youre reading at your own risk dont fight me, why am i even typing these tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6857761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEmoBand/pseuds/TheEmoBand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An emo story about emo people in an emo band with an emo beginning and an even more emo end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emo Band

**Author's Note:**

> wtf did i just write

Preface*

It's nothing personal; little kids just happen to be scared of the dark.

Trap King*

"Yeah, this is a great shot." Colby says as Eric continues his 43 minute long trap queen dance. "It really keeps you on the edge of your seat."

"You think?" Eric asks.

"Yeah." Colby says.

At the same time Connor mumbles, "You look dumb as hell." Connor was already in a bad mood because his relationship with Leafy was going rough ever since Danielle found out.

"Well at least I'm doing something." Eric emphasizes, motioning to Connor who's sitting on the couch trying to find memes for his Instagram account (I mean what).

"I'm gonna title it "Trap Queen Dance." Colby announces.

"How original." Mikayla says.

"Don't you mean trap king? Where'd you even get trap from?" Eric wonders aloud.

"The line isn't "she's my trap king" Eric." Colby explains.

Eric just looks at him confused.

Colby decides to ignore it. "Get off your phone Connor, Eric's about to go viral," he says as he clicks the upload button on Youtube.

Connor keeps scrolling.

"Boy, get off your phone." Eric walks over to Connor.

"Get off my back."

Danielle walks in hearing the commotion.

"I said get off yo-"Connor interrupts Eric by dramatically throwing his phone not noticing where he threw it

"There you happy?" He says, only to flinch at the sound of Danielle wincing.

Connor had hit Danielle in the face with his huge ass phone.

The room is silent until Mikayla says, "Well this isn't a first."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry." Connor jumps up.

"First Leafy now this?" Danielle says, rubbing her cheek where he hit her.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP MY VIDEO HAS 1 VIEW." Eric yells.

Mikayla walks over to the computer to examine the views.

Colby rushes over to the computer, he tears up. "You're practically famous now, you've come so far."

Eric's phone begins to ring.

"Ummmmmm, are you gonna pick that up." Matt asks, speaking for the first time.

"I can't believe this." Instead, Eric walks over to where Connor and Danielle are. "I have gone viral and you guys don't even care."

"She did just like get hit the face." Matt points out.

"I thought as friends you would be supportive of me-"

"Pick up your fucking phone." Connor shifts his attention to Eric for one second.

Eric sighs, looking at the number popped up on his phone; it's unknown.

"Hello?" He says into it, whilst putting it on speaker.

"I just saw your video and it is so amazing."

Everyone's body turns to Eric's phone.

"Who the fu-" Danielle covers Connor's mouth.

"Is this......is this Ellen?"

"Yeah, I'm a huge fan."

"How did you even find my video?" Eric asks skeptically.

"Well it does have 2 million views."

Eric practically passes out.

"W-what?"

"Your video, it has 2 million views."

"You must be mistaken-"

Seeing Eric was about to ruin the moment, Colby swiftly takes the phone from him.

"Yeah, hi Ellen, I'm Eric's manager C-" Colby pauses, "C....olby?"

"Oh, hi Colby."

"My client, Eric here, isn't that...efficient when it comes to things like this." Colby says.

"Oh, well is your client interested on being on my show?" Ellen asks.

"He would love to." Colby says.

Eric stiffens at this.

After a few more words are said, Colby then hangs up.

"You're gonna be on Ellen in 2 days at 6."

Eric slouches. "You know I can't do that, I have dinner from 4 pm to 7."

"You're high right?" Connor says. "Ellen wants you on her show and you're worried about eating dinner."

"I just don't think I can make it."

"Well that's too bad because I told her you'd get there a day early to rehearse for your live preformance." Colby says.

"So we literally have to jet there?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah."

"Fine, but we have to be back by Monday, I don't want to have to make up gym class." Eric gives in.

And with that said, all the emos get ready for a trip that was going to forever change their emo lives.

Ellen De-Get-Me-On-That-Stage*

"So what inspired you to make your trap queen music video?" Ellen asks.

Eric shifts on the coach. "I dunno."

Ellen stares at Eric, a little surprised by the lack of an answer.

"Care to elaborate?" She asks.

"No, it just like...happened." Eric says in a monotone voice.

"When you filmed it, did you think it would have so many hits in such a short period of time?"

"No." 

Ellen's facade falters at the practically one sided conversation.

"Trap Queen is a pretty popular song as is, yet your video made it rise four spots on the chart."

"Oh, is that what the song's called?" Eric asks, feeling slightly enlightened. 

There's a moment of silence.

"Did you not know the name of the song?"Ellen asks in disbelief.

"Nah." 

Ellen laughs shakily, "You are known as quote 'The Trap Queen Dancer' how could you have not known?"

"I just thought everyone was misgendering me." Eric admits.

"Well...that's... interesting..."Ellen says.

Eric stays mute.

"Okay, well that just about raps out the interview, have any last words before you perform live for us?" Ellen looks at Eric expectantly.

"Actually..." Ellen's eyes widen in surprise. "I was wondering if you'd let my friends perform the song instead of just playing it."

"Why?" Ellen asks. " We didn't plan for that to-"

"You see, I have some friends who are in this really good band-"

"There aren't any copyright issues with just playing the song-"

"And it would be cool if they performed it special for your show."

Ellen hesitates, looking off set for a second.

"Is the band here right now?"

"Actually yeah." Eric gestures to a few people in the audience.

And that's how Eric found himself on stage with a bunch of his friends screaming and dancing to this thing called Trap Queen.

Ho(e)tels*

"Who carries around four bottles of cologne with them?" Danielle asks.

"You never know." Connor responds, zipping up his backpack.

"You do know we're only going in for an audition." Colby mentions, googling the bus schedule in LA.

"I like smelling good. Some of you wouldn't know anything about that though." 

Colby flips him off while Danielle rolls her eyes.

At that moment Matt walks into the hotel room. "Eric warning in 3...2..."

"I can't believe you would go behind my back and just....just sabotage my education," Eric barges in the room, beginning to pace. 

"What the fuck." Connor states. Matt exits the room.

"I said I wanted to be back home by Monday and now it's Monday and we aren't home. The people at the airport rejected my ticket and even after 13 hours of me pacing around, yelling there they banned me-"

"Woah woah woah, since when have you been to the airport?" Danielle questions.

"Since 9 pm last night."

"And they banned you?" 

"Apparently attempting to "climb" into someone's luggage is unprofessional AND illegal." Eric rants. "And now I can't even fly home."

"Maybe you should've thought of that after you tried picking up a ride in, oh yeah, someone's fucking suitcase." Connor says. 

"Boy don't make me fight you." 

"Come at me." 

"Would you look at that."

Everybody's attention shifts to Colby.

"We were suppose to be at the bus station 13 minutes ago." He announces.

"Oh I was just at the bus station." Eric says.

"You see, that would've been helpful information if this conversation happened 13 minutes earlier." Colby replies.

Eric flops onto the hotel bed. "I'm just going to pretend I'm dead." 

"Join the club." Connor says even though he claims he isn't an actual emo.

The door opens, "Did you know they sell potatoes right outside this hotel, who woulda thought."

Mikayla instantly stops at the scene. Eric was lying on the bed like a fish, Connor was sitting with Danielle (who he had hit in the face with the door when they first entered the hotel room but he swears it was the doors fault for slamming shut so fast), and Colby who was currently hitting his face with his computer.

"I am ready for death." Eric announces. 

"That's a good mindset." Mikayla replies.

"Who even asked you?" Connor asks sarcastically.

"I mean if we're supposed to be an emo band this is the kind of attitude we need." She says.

"Kill yourself." 

"That's the spirit." 

You Will Put the Emo in Music Demo*

"We're here to see...Janet?" 

"Oh, are you guys that band she was talking about?" The receptionist asks

"Look," Colby attempts his most serious tone, "We aren't here for small talk."

"Yeah, can we get this over with I have a date with a crematory in an hour." Eric says.

Instead the receptionist keeps talking, "she was right about the whole emo thing." 

Right when Eric was about to enter another monologue Janet walks in. "There you guys are, come with me to my office and we can get started with the contract." 

"Isn't there an audition?" Matt asks. He had been practicing multitasking with his guitar, drums, and piano due to the fact that none of the other soon to be band members could play any instruments. Unless  you counted the triangle his band mates were practically useless and there's been no history of emo bands using triangles.

"You passed the audition outside." Janet says.

Everyone gives her a questioning look. 

"I had a spy out there and he said multiple of you were talking about how you wanted to die. Right then I knew you guys would be perfect."

"So there isn't an audition...?" Matt repeats.

"Of course not, who cares about musical talent," Matt slouches, "All we need to know is if you guys can play the part."

"Last time I checked this was a contract deal for a musical band." Matt replies, "Not some middle school play."

"Well then that is where you are wrong." Janet begins to lead them down a narrow corridor. "We will pay you millions and the only catch is that you have to do sign this contract" She opens the door to an office for everyone.

"But I-" Matt's cut off by Colby saying, "Millions of dollars?"

Janet chooses to focus on Colby, "Of course, you guys will be the next big thing."

It's then Eric speaks up, "That is interesting, but how long do you think this whole," He mimics her voice, "Next Big Thing"  is going to take because I told my mom I would drive to Long Beach Airport instead of LAX because I'm apparently not allowed to go back there, anyway back to what I was saying I told her I would be back by Wednesday and if this takes even more time-" Connor cuts him off.

"Eric." He says.

"Yeah?" 

"Shut up."

Eric drops his body into a chair across from where Janet had sat herself.

"Oh yes, I forgot." Janet says. "Do you have any metal on you, it's a safety hazard." She gestures  to Matt, Colby, and Eric's glasses.

"Ummmmmmm?"

"Safety precaution." She replies. The three take off their glasses, (yeah I know Colby has contacts or whatever but it's part of the plot so chill.)

"Please, please, everyone take a seat." She points to the array of chairs. "As you were saying?" She says to Eric and right from the start Matt can tell she is not at all genuine.

"Guys, I don't think-"

"FINALLY, someone who actually cares." Eric fully relaxes into his chair, "You see, I wanted to be home so I wouldn't have to make up any classes for school, but these...these parasites are making it really hard." 

Connor sends Eric a death glare, Eric ignores it.

"Well guys, boys, gentlemen, I do understand the complication you are facing but-"

Guys... Eric thinks. Boys... wait a second. 

"Where is everyone else?" He speaks up.

"Who now?" Janet asks.

"Everyone else?"

"Oh." Janet pause, "The girls are being briefed in a different room."

Connor jumps at that, "Woah." he says, "where's Danielle?"

"Did you not hear what she just-" Janet cuts Matt off.

"Boys, boys, settle down now. We have more important matters to deal with."

"Ugh can we just get this over with." Eric groans.

Janet pulls out four copies of the same piece of paper, "This is the contract, sign it and we can get started right away."

"What does it say?" Eric asks.

"Boy are you blind?" Connor asks.

"Actually yeah." Colby says, leaning over to make eye contact with Connor.

Janet fakes surprise, "Oh Connor, how about you read the contract for them since they lack the necessities to...you know."

Connor looks down at the excessively long paragraphs on the piece of paper. 

"I wish I was blind." He says.

"Read it." Janet's smile remains stiffly glued to her face, daring him to do otherwise.

Connor coughs into his fist, "I, sign name here, agree to the terms and conditions of Haughty! Management. I am to abide by all their rules and regulations for the sake of myself, my image, and the people around me. " Connor pauses. "This makes me sound like a little bitc-"

"Continue reading." Janet cuts in calmly. 

Connor shakes his head, "If I am to break any of these rules I am to accept the personal consequences matched for my actions." 

He looks up at Janet who still has the same smile plastered on her face.

"Sorry guys, I'm suddenly illiterate." he says dead serious.

"Just read it." Janet says impatiently.

"Are you making fun of people with reading disabilities?" he says in a mocking tone.

"I know for a fact-"

"What did you get my medical record too?" 

"Why would you assume I have gotten anything on you?" Janet asks.

"Any logical person would know that when you take someone's glasses away they can't fucking see-"

"Sign the contract." Janet pressures.

"Why would I-"

"You either sign it now or the deals up." She says. "This is your one shot." (ha pun...sorry I won't interrupt again keep reading)

"I don't want-"

"I'll sign it." Colby blurts.

Janet leans back in her chair at that.

"If Colby signs I will." Matt says.

"What." Connor says, not believing what's happening.

"Eric?" Janet asks.

"Can we leave if I sign?" Eric responds. 

Janet slowly nods her head.

"Okay, I'll sign." he says.

"It's just you Connor." Janet says.

"Majority vote." Colby pipes in.

"Where's the relevency?" Connor questions.

"Just agree, I have a shower scheduled in 20 minutes." Eric says

"Who fucking schedules their showers?" Connor snaps.

"Just agree." Eric says.

"I don't really want to it-"

"The deal's down in a minute." Janet announces.

Connor sighs. "What did Danielle say?"

"I'm not with her right now so I can't say." Janet responds.

"I'm not going to-"

"Millions of dollars." Colby interjects.

"Can you guys just let me think?" Connor snaps again.

"Make your decision now or the deal's off."

"Oh my god, fine just chill for a second." Connor gives in.

Janet stands up, opens the office door, turns back and smiles at them,"Perfect, you will start recording immediately." 

And yeah, that's all that's to it. The emo band was formed and all it took was some blind kids and an offer of a couple million dollars.

5 Years Later 

Coco (I'm) Nut (Okay)*

"I should've killed myself when I had the chance." Eric complains.

Janet responds with, "I know you're practicing your emo act and all, but can you please save it."

"I'm not acting, I want to overdose." 

"Nobody cares." Matthew snaps.

"I'm just saying," Eric says conversationally, "if the option had presented itself before I signed up for this dumb ass band I would be in peace right now lying calmly in the ground."

"As much as I'd love to picture that scenario can you please stop being an attention whore for one second." Connor says. "We're doing something really important right now."

Connor looks back to the group of people surrounding the table, "Now I personally think we just shouldn't order anything at the Billboard Music Awards. Don't want any embarrassing photos of us eating cheap food, you know?" 

"I think we should get coconut martinis." Matt says. 

"That would be-" Janet gets cut off.

"No can do asshole, I'm allergic." Connor says.

"To martinis?" Matt questions.

"No, to coconuts."

"What part of the coconut?" is Matt's response.

"What kind of question is that?" When Matt doesn't elaborate Connor continues, "To the whole thing, if I even catch a waft I get this allergic reaction."

"I know how allergies work." Matt retorts.

"Then why did you ask-"

"Can you guys shut the fuck up." Colby interrupts impatiently.

Janet cuts in. "(For crying outloud) Settle down boys. If you're going to act like this the leave, I have another meeting with Danielle and Mikayla anyway."

Matt never got why Janet did that. She always confronted them when they were separated. Things were going alright for the band. I mean, what could he expect. Obviously lights, camera, action wasn't what it was believed to be by the average person, but it was better than what he was doing before. Things weren't too bad. In fact, the only downfall seemed to be his band mates who were probably borderline insane with the amount of time they spent shut up and away. He wouldn't call himself lucky, but he couldn't deny that he was privileged.  

Connor never liked Matt because he thought he was a snobby brat. And Matt didn't like Colby because Colby was the most fake person he knew. And Colby didn't like Eric because if it hadn't been for Eric he wouldn't have been in the stupid band in the first place. And Eric never liked Connor because Connor purposely pissed off everyone in sight due to the fact that he knew he couldn't get into any real trouble anymore.

So in the end there was a lot of hate among them which usually wouldn't end well, but for this band it only fed to their emo facade. 

Winner Winner Acting Beginner*

"The press is trying to sell a story to the media about you and Connor." Janet says.

"What is it?" Danielle asks.

"The constant bruises on your face give off the idea that you've been getting hit."

Danielle stares at Janet confused.

"I'm going to need for you and Connor to break up." Janet explains.

Danielle jumps at that, but Janet doesn't let her start. 

"You see, we can't let the rumor of abuse in your relationship get out there." 

"I never-" Mikayla cuts off Danielle

"This is dumb. It'd be a rumor, just like you said. Seperating them wouldn't stop the 'rumor' it would just fuel it more. What you're saying is practically irrelevant." She says.

"And you're practically irrelevant. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be someone so either shut up or leave." Janet snaps.

"I tried leaving dumbass-"

Danielle cuts in, "I can't break up with Connor anyway, there'd be no reason to him."

Janet leans foward above her desk, "Then make one."

"That's really stupid for you to-" Janet interrupts Mikayla midsentence. 

"As for you, you're acting too," Janet gestures to Mikayla, "you."  

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"If I don't recall, you're supposed to be more...invisible.  You're an extra in this band; just there to take up space. So no more speeches about Aristotle or whatever that even was. You have one job and it is to maintain your roll in this band. You've been doing this for 5 years yet still act like an amateur."

Mikayla stands up at that. Janet doesn't let her speak.

"And because of this I am giving you one more chance. An award almost, you'll be put to use for once. Call yourself the lucky winner." Janet says.

"Why would I want-"

"I am keeping you in charge of Connor and Danielle's relationship. You're around them more than the press so you will take and 'leak' pictures of them looking like they're in a healthy relationship."

"We are in a healthy relati-" Janet doesn't let Danielle finish.

"If the rumor doesn't die off within one week I will make your life even worse than it already is."

Magazine (Art)icle*

"Wow you really are a fuck up." Eric verbally attacks Connor. "I get relationships can be rough, but you don't have to hit her-"

"What the fuck are you on?" Connor snaps.

Eric holds up the magazine article.

On the front cover was a picture of Danielle with a black eye and the words, "Emo Band Gets Too Emo." 

Right at that moment Mikayla barges in. "Don't even look at that pretend you don't speak English. I will fix this." She whips out her phone.

Connor does the opposite and examines the article closer. "This isn't even an actual picture. Danielle doesn't have that shirt. Did someone...draw this?" 

At the same time Mikayla begins talking on the phone. "Hello, yes this is Mikayla. I was wondering if Calvin was there. He is? Great. Can you just redirect this call to him?" There's a pause. "Hey, yeah how are you? I need your help. You know how that bitch Janet assigned me that task a few days ago. Yeah well I failed. Like that time Connor tried to fix his hairline failed. You can? Great. Come over anytime, we're literally locked up for the next day and a half." She hangs up.

"The fuck you say about me?" Connor says.

"Save it, we have a bigger issue." 

"Yeah these people can't even draw." Connor responds. "All they did was edit a photo of her and draw on a bruise and some cuts." 

"They should've removed her ear, then it would've been a true piece of art." Eric includes himself into the conversation.

"Did you just make a Vincent Van Gogh joke?" Connor questions.

"Yeah, why are you acting so surprised." Eric defends himself.

"Just didn't know you were even slightly cultured." Connor replies.

Eric exits the room at the comment, calling behind him, "I'm gonna kill that kid someday." 

"Please do." Connor yells after him.

"Can you stop for one second. We actually have a problem right now." Mikayla begins to pace.

"Yeah, and I've had a problem since this whole fucking band started." 

"No an actual problem." Mikayla says. 

"It can't be that bad." Connor tries to reason.

"Then think of it this way. You thought your positive 4th degree polynomial looking hairline was bad (you'll get this in like 2 years trust me), but this...this is worse." 

Leafy is Here (literally)*

"So you must be Danielle." Calvin introduces himself. "And who are you." he walks over to Connor.

"I'm Connor, the other one in the article." 

"Oh you're the boyfriend?" Calvin asks.

"Yeah." Connor says.

Calvin's expression falters for a second.

"Didn't take you as that type." He says.

"Type of what?" Connor asks.

"Nothing..." Calvin trails off, trying to think of something. "I have a friend named Connor." 

"It's a common name I guess." 

"Nice shoelaces by the way." 

Connor blinks, not expecting the compliment. "Thanks I..." He thinks for a second, as if he was trying to remember something, "I stole them from the president."

"Did you now." Calvin raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah..." Connor says.

(this part is kinda confusing if you arent part of that whole internet thing but it'll come together in the end let me live jfc)

Calvin turns away. "Anyway, fixing this should be easy. I'll deal with the press all you guys have to do is avoid them. Avoid pictures, questions, just everything until I clean up the rest." 

"That's all we have to do?" Danielle asks.

"We are the best of the best for a reason." Calvin smiles.

"What's the price?" Danielle asks. "I know Mikayla already set this up, but that can't just be it."

"The price?" Calvin's eyes glance over to Connor. "I usually charge money but..." He smiles, "An afternoon with him could work. We can discuss his...shoelaces." 

Danielle lights up, "Of course! That's all? Wow, thanks so much you don't know how much that means-"

"Oh it's no big deal."Calvin brushes it off, "Call it a favor if you must."

Seeing their business was finished the couple get up to leave, but before they exit Calvin stops Connor. "Hey, can I have your number? Gonna need a way to contact you for that little date thing." 

"Yeah sure, but I'm straight just so you know." 

"Yeah and that band you're in isn't emo." 

"What?"

"Just give me your number." 

Faker than the Studio Version*

"Why did they even let you in here." Matt complains. 

"Do you think I can slit my wrists with this." Eric picks up a detached drum cymbal from the ground.

"I don't know, you should test it out for us." Colby tells him.

"You guys don't know a single thing about music, why haven't they just banned you." Matt continues.

"Fake it 'till you make it." Mikayla mumbles. 

"Yeah, but we've already made it so what's the point of you guys even-" 

"Listen Matt, we all know you're the musically talented whatever person, but none of us really care." Colby says. 

"Why do you guys have to be here  though?" Matt sits down on the leather coach opposite to the recording booth.

"Are you that oblivious?" Connor asks. "Yeah we may be irrelevant to recording an album, but that's between us. As far as the rest of thd world is concerned we all are equally engaged in this music shit." 

"Ugh, all you do is get in the way." Matt says. "You'd think you'd be content with just fucking up your own relationship not everything around you." 

At that moment Connor grabs the cymbal from Eric's hand, jumps over the side of the coach so he's above Matt, and puts it against his throat. "Listen you whiny bitch, say one more word and I'll fucking kill you." 

"Did Connor take his meds this morning?" Eric asks blankly. 

"I'm not on meds." Connor says through his teeth as Danielle begins to pry him off Matt. 

"That's the problem then." Eric says, "You should be medicated." 

"He's fine." Danielle answers. 

"Did you not just see that?" Colby cuts into the conversation in disbelief, "He went from normal to psychotic in two seconds." 

"He wasn't going to actually kill him " Danielle brushes it off. 

"Yeah I was." Connor speaks up. 

"You're not helping the situation." She responds. 

"We should have our own TV show." Mikayla announces in a bored tone. "Fuck the band, this is way more entertaining. We don't get paid enough to have to put up with this."

Colby looks over at Mikayla. 

"I mean, Janet already cut our paycheck in half because of the magazine article. So basically our lives officially suck. I don't blame Connor for turning a bit crazy." Mikayla says casually.

"You guys are crazy for not turning crazy yet." Connor spits as he exits the room.

"I literally hate all of you." Colby yells at no one in paticular. 

"The feelings mutual." Mikayla responds, as Colby storms out of the room too. 

"Why's Colby even mad though?" Matts questions. "He's not the one who just got his life threatened."

"No idea." Mikayla says.

Eric picks up the cymbal from the ground and mimicks the act of cutting off his head.

Highway Exit: Life*

"I am not sitting next to you." Matt says to Connor as he gets pushed into the car by their security guard. 

"Fine switch with me, and give me the window seat." Colby says, annoyed. 

"Finally, someone who cares about my preferences." Matt says  

"I still hate you." Colby says. 

"Yeah, well everyone hates you." Matt replies to Colby as they switch seats.

"I am literally so done right now." Colby says to himself as he takes his seat next to the window. 

"Hey," Colby gets their driver's attention. "Can we take the highway, I want to get home as soon as possible." 

The driver nods, and Colby sits back in his seat. 

"Wow, you can't even sound genuine when you talk to our driver." Eric says to Colby.

Colby ignores him and massages his temples. Their car turns onto the highway right about then.

"You know what I don't get, you always talk about how much you hate all of us yet you haven't left the band yet." Eric says. 

"I did it for the money." Colby mutters to himself. 

"And how'd that work for you?" Eric taunts. 

"You know what fuck you." Colby begins to shuffle in his seat. "You guys are so freaking psychotic I honestly can't believe this hasn't happened yet." 

And before Eric can respond Colby whips the car door open and, I kid you not, jumps right into the freeway.

*

As you can guess things kinda blew up when the death of Colby Sienkiewicz was announced. When he jumped out onto the highway he had hit the ground and that was it. He could've lived if he had rolled the eight feet it took to get out of the car lanes, but nope, Colby was determined that that was when he was supposed to die. When a car did run over him his band mates (who had just enough time to stop the car and get out) were able to witness his death. Well not the actual death, his body was pushed half a mile down the highway before anyone could get the attention of Robin (the driver who ran him over). But that's probably too detailed for some of you so pretend you have short term memory loss and don't remember reading this paragraph this is kinda an extra thing idk keep reading this story bout to get wild so make sure all your hands and feet are in the vehicle i dont want any more of yall to die (or at least any more than necessary) this lil paragraph thing isnt essential to the story so you can stop reading right about now but if you have continued to read sup how are you hows your day going the weathers pretty nice innit im in study hall right now thanks for asking. stop flirting with me god have you no morals, well i mean you're reading this story so i guess you don't actually.

Ca-hell-fornia*

Scene I

"So you think she won't find out?" Connor asks.

"Nah, with that whole fame thing she probably won't even notice."

"Can I keep your word on that?"

"Of course."

Scene II

"Since you guys have been acting up I have decided to purge you of all the negative influences you associate yourselves with. No drugs or alcohol for the rest of the trip to LA. Maybe you guys will get a grip."

"You're practically leaving us high and dry, except we're not high, we're just dry."

"If you want to put it that way then that's exactly what I'm doing."

Scene III

"If you don't use this knife to kill yourself your life will be practically wasted."

"I would, but unfortunately I'm using it to cut up this watermelon, Eric." Matt says.

"That's what I'm trying to say, a wrist uncut is a wrist wasted." Eric responds.

"You know, you always talk about killing yourself, but you never actually do it." Matt replies.

"Because I want to make sure all of you are dead before I am." 

Scene IV

"Did you go to Colby's funeral?" Danielle asks.

"No, there were too many people there." Mikayla says.

"Did you see that the fans trended #CutForEmoBand on twitter?"

"No, but all of them should kill themselves anyway." Mikayla replies.

"Why would you say that? What did the fans ever do to you?"

"Those little brats are the reason I'm famous and in this hell hole in the first place." 

Scene V

"I can't believe you're doing this!" Danielle yells. "You didn't even have the decency to have told me? You could've at least told me you weren't into gir-"

"You gave me your word!" Connor yells at Calvin.

"I didn't know she would be here! You said nobody was on the bus!"

"How was I supposed to know?!" 

"You know what. Fine. I'm done. I hate you." Danielle slams her fist on the table and makes sure the door closes with a loud crack when she leaves the bus. 

"Fuck you!" Connor yells.

"Don't worry about her." Calvin tries to tell him calmly.

"Everything's ruined." Connor runs his hands through his dishelved hair.

"Everything has been for a long time." 

Inter(vent)ion*

"Connor said he had a meeting with Janet so he couldn't make it."

"How fucking typical." Eric says, already annoyed.

"Can you not be an asshole for one second and ackowledge that one of our fucking band mates is dead because of us?" Matt says.

"Tomato tomata." Eric mumbles.

"Janet's already pissed so can you cooperate." Danielle snaps.

"I don't care if she's mad." 

"Somebody is dead!" Danielle explodes.

There's a silence.

"None of this would've happened if Eric dumbass hadn't made us famous." Matt concludes.

"If we're pointing fingers, it was actually Colby, the video was his idea." Eric defends.

"Well we aren't getting anywhere if we blame the dead person." Mikayla says.

"Fine, then it was Connor's fault, he's the reason we signed the contract. Kid's freaking illiterate." Eric says.

"He wouldn't have signed it if he knew Danielle didn't." Mikayla looks at Danielle.

"Umm, last time I checked I didn't go hacking views."

"What?" Eric interrupts.

"Oh my god he doesn't know?" Danielle laughs. "This is iconic." She looks between Eric and Mikayla. "She hacked the fucking views of your video. Did you really think an irrelevant boy like you could get two million views?" 

Eric backs away from the group, taken aback.

"So this is Mikayla's fault?" He says.

"Actually, if I do recall, Eric's the one who asked if we could perforn on Ellen. So I'm back to blaming Eric." Matt interrupts.

"Colby was the only person who actually wanted to sign the contract!" Eric yells.

"Are we really going to blame this on him?!" Danielle yells back.

"Fine, you're all guilty." Matt says, satisfied.

"What about you?" Danielle asks.

"I didn't do anything." 

Eric jumps at that. "Exactly! You didn't do anything! You always complain about the band, but you never did anything about it. I may have fucked up a few times, but at least I did things! I did something, I'm someone. You're no one; you're pathetic!"

"I may have done nothing, but that keeps me in the middle. You, on the other hand, are the one who tried pulling all the strings. You signed yourself up for all your misery and then blamed it on everyone else when it became too much. You're the pathetic one." Matt says coldly.

"I'm gonna kill you one day. I will."

What's an Emo Story Without Some Actual Emo*

During the duration of Eric and Matt fighting eachother, Danielle had managed to convince herself that all of this was Janet's fault.

However, she was a little late to reaching this conclusion because by the time she got to Janet's office there was ambulance at the entrance and a body being rushed through the doors.

"Weird isn't it." She jumps at the voice. 

It was Connor.

"About time she got what she deserved." He smiles.

"Did you do this?" She asks, with an edge to her voice.

He doesn't say anything, instead looking off ahead at the flashing blue and red lights.

"Did you?" She repeats.

"It wouldn't matter either way, no one would ever believe it."

"I don't know what to do." She says.

"Hmm?" 

"Everyone is fucking dying. Why can't people just stay alive?!"

"Hey, you can't really die if you never really lived." Connor says.

"What the fuck?" 

"I don't know, I read that somewhere."

"Where?"

"Tumblr."

"You have a tumblr?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah, and I post some pretty rad memes on it let me tell you."

Danielle doesn't say anything.

"Yeah no, but I guess you're right. Things are getting kinda wild." 

"I just don't know what to make of it. Colby's gone, Janet just got shot or some shit, I cut the wires to the bus, you're somehow gay now, and Eric, did you know, is going to kill us all in our sleep."

Connor grabs her by her shoulders, "Hey," he says, "it'll be alright." 

And for a split second she believes him.

The Die in Diesel is Misleading* 

"While you two fucks were gone something awful decided to rape us." Eric says as #Canielle enter the bus.

"I don't know how to interpret that." Connor says.

"We're fucked." Eric replies.

"I see." Connor responds, "Can I ask why?" 

"The bus won't start, and no bus means no moving and no moving means no reaching our destination and no reaching our destination means no getting our drugs back from Janet." 

"I know she took the illegal drugs, but she took your prescription drugs too?" Danielle asks.

"Well I haven't been too right in the head lately, have I?" Eric retorts.

"No wonder you've been so bitchy." Connor says. "Janet's dead by the way." 

Eric looks up at that. "What the fuck, for real?" 

"Yeah, so meds shouldn't be a problem for much longer." 

"The bus is still acting like it's disabled though." Eric says.

"It is retard, I cut the wires." Danielle says.

"You what?" 

"I cut the wires to the battery." 

"Why would you-"

"I was mad." 

"How the fuck are we gonna fix that, Janet cut off all of our resources. We can't buy a new one." Eric explains.

Right then Mikayla walks onto the bus with a bag. "You guys won't believe, turns out we're two blocks from that hotel with the potato stand."

All heads turn to Mikayla.

"You're a genius." Eric exclaims.

"The..."

Eric takes the bag of potatoes from Mikayla.

"Someone look up a youtube tutorial on how to do that whole electricity thing with potatoes" (yeah I know this is like scientifically impossible sit down Bill Nye this aint your show)

It only took Eric 30 minutes to replace the bus battery with potatoes. Connor even mentioned how Eric was being useful for once.

"Hey Danielle, go see if the bus will start, we'll stay out here." 

Eric had made everyone evacuate the bus claiming that it would mess up his mojo if they were in it.

"Why do I have to?" She asks.

"You cut the wires so you get to test it. It'll be easy."

Danielle nods, opening and entering the door to the bus.

"Everyone back up." Eric comands

Right as Connor, Matt, and Mikayla take the  few steps back the bus makes a crunching noise and before anyone can stop it, it explodes faster than (irl) Eric when he kicked a wall, got mad, and kicked it again.

*

Things were different when Danielle passed away. Connor immediately blamed Eric, claiming Eric had done it on purpose. Eric never confirmed or denied. However it was Janet's death that caused the band to break up. 

Sigh-chotic*

(5 years later, chapters are more scattered)

"Why are we even having a reuninion party I hate all of you." Mikayla says as their car pulls up to the curb.

"I only came because I was told Eric wouldn't be there." Connor replies.

"Wow asshole." Eric says.

"As you can see, God didn't think I should be blessed with such a thing." 

You'd wonder how all of them were able to handle the mentality of so many deaths. People had begun to question the whole emo thing. Others just thought they were psychos.

"I haven't seen you guys in like 5 years." Mikayla says. "And this is the reason."

"I'm here for the free alcohol and food." Matt decides to announce.

"Good for you." Connor says sarcasticly.

"Don't worry about him, " Eric gestures to Connor, "He's just pissy that he has no one left to hit in the face anymore." 

"You see, I would threaten to kill you right now, but I'm a changed man. I'm over all that." Connor folds his hands in his lap.

(4 hours later)

Glass shards of shattered cups are all over the ground where the champaign fountain is. Eric's lying on the ground in obvious pain. 

"Did he just jump from up there?" Mikayla rushes over to where a huge crowd is gathered. 

"Yeah, I requested for the DJ to play Trap Queen and I think he had a war flashback." Connor says next to her.

"Do you think he did the dance before he jumped?" 

"He better have."

"One small move for man one huge dance for Eric-kind."

*

Eric would've survived his jump if it wasn't for the fact that he landed on a pile of glass cups and ended up bleeding out onto the dance floor. There's not much more to say, writing these little death paragraphs are getting a bit weird if I'm honest.

Face (Pain)t*

(this is a reach but go with it)

"They have free watermelon here what the hell." Connor says.

"Great observation skills." Matt rolls his eyes.

"Why's he here again?" Calvin asks.

"I think the question is why are you here." Matt says to Calvin. "We were invited as a band not a band plus one." 

"How about you go be pretentious somewhere else." Connor recommends. "We have to go find Mikayla so we can get our passes."

"She's over at one of those booths where they draw on you." Calvin says as Matt leaves.

It takes like 20 minutes, but they do find her waiting in the longest line Connor has ever seen in his life. 

"This line is bigger than Matt's ego," Connor says. "Why are you even in it?" He asks Mikayla.

"It's a music festival thing, I don't know it just kinda fit the aesthetic." 

"That's dumb." Connor says, "You're gonna be waiting for at least a decade."

"Are you ever not annoying?"

"I bet you I can do a better job than whoever they have hired for this." Connor bets, "I can save you like $15." 

"Fine, but all I want are those dot things people draw. I know you're a bit artistically challenged ever since you drew that 'hole' for the art show in 8th grade."

Connor doesn't respond, instead asking Calvin for a pen. 

He then begins to draw circles particularly hard onto Mikayla's face right under her eye.

"Dude why are you pressing so hard." She flinches, but as she does the pen literally stabs her in the eye and they both lowkey scream. 

"Shit." He yells, and Mikayla passes out. 

*

Mikayla didn't die from being stabbed with a pen. She died because it got infected as hell. Connor was used to the whole death concept though, so he felt indifferent. Matt just wanted to go home the whole time Mikayla was in the hospital.

Two Boys One Bullet*

It was the middle of July and Connor and Matt were sitting in Matt's garage. 

"Does this make us the victors or something?" Connor asks. "Six went in two came out?" 

"What are you on?" Matt questions, disgust evident in his voice.

"I mean like, everyone died like what's the probability of that?" 

"We're here to talk about your marriage, not the band." 

"Shit yeah." Connor says.

"So what color do you want to wear?" 

"Crimson."

"Can you be serious for one second?" Matt asks annoyed.

"No, but forreal let me just say what's on my mind. Like we're the only ones left. Isn't that at least a little bit satisfying. Like it's just the two of us mate." 

Matt raises his voice "I'm gonna make your wedding coconut themed if you don't stop talki-"

Connor ignores him, "No forreal, like we're the only survivors. You and me, me and you, wow."

"You know what, no it's just you. I'm done with this." 

And right then Matt pulls out a gun and, how do I put this lightly, shoots himself.

*

When Matt died Connor was only worried about who was going to help him plan his wedding.

(The) Marriag(E-nd)

It's four minutes before the reception and Connor lost his cologne. So basically he's panicking right now. 

They wanted to have a beach wedding because that was apparently what Matt had written down before he died. It seemed like the right thing to do. 

Calvin liked beaches, so Connor could put up with the constant salty smell and sand everywhere but where it should be.

"Connor you're supposed to be out here right now." Calvin says through the door.

"I can't find my fucking cologne." Connor complains.

"Ugh, just use mine." Calvin says, "I have it with me actually, it's very beach like."

Connor almost instantly opens the door, grabs the cologne from Calvin, and sprays it everywhere. He doesn't recognize the smell, but he doesn't have anymore time to waste.

"Okay let's go." He smiles to Calvin.

It wasn't until the reception began did Calvin notice the hives all over Connor, and it wasn't until half way through their vows did Connor begin to see spots. He didn't interrupt the preacher though because he didn't think it a big deal. That was until he was asked to say "I do" because when he opened his mouth he collapsed to the ground.

It wasn't until Calvin rushed to his side did he notice the distinct smell of coconut.  
*

I don't have much to say about Connor's death. Emo things just end in emo ways I guess.

Postface*

Some little kids begin scared of the dark and then grow up to be scared of the light


End file.
